Why I will never buy a car from Twin City Subaru

The old Audi is on its last legs and will probably not last through the next winter. Just today there was this really weird smell coming from the engine (a combination of burning rubber and jalepenos). When I popped the hood and started rooting around–I am not a car guy–I found an electrical connector that wasn’t connected to anything. I have no idea what that means. Luckily we have a fabulous mechanic Bill who runs the Auto Union, but even he said at our last appointment that we ought to think about looking for a replacement.

So we’ve been looking at the Subaru Outback Wagon (like every third person in Vermont) and the nearest dealer is Twin City Subaru in Montpelier but I cannot, for the life of me, bring myself to enter their dealership. It’s not because I’ve heard bad stories about their service or because I’m against buying from dealers, it’s because of their TV commercial.

Now it is a local company so of course the ad dollars spent were limited–shot on video with minimal special effects and so forth–and there aren’t any people in the commercial (it’s no creditangels thank goodness!). The gipper is the song.

This perversion of some 1930’s radio jingle must only be heard to be hated. Words cannot express the insane agony I feel when the commercial comes on and the worst part about it is that it’s at the beginning of the advert which means I have no advanced warning to change the channel. Fingernails on chalkboard is less annoying than this piece of work; it is that bad.

I feel sorry for the studio hacks who were paid to perform it and for the cable guy who has to see it over and over again as he monitors the systems. But I have no pity for the company that chose to inflict this plague upon us.

And so, I’ve decided to never buy a car from Twin City Subaru in Montpelier, Vermont.

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